Saturday, March 31, 2012

Should ugly women just commit suicide?

After reading this article on cracked.com about how society has trained men to hate women, I began to wonder...what do men think ugly women should do with our lives? End them?

Clearly, men think that it's our duty as women to be gorgeous and if we aren't, we've betrayed them somehow....but there is no help for some of us, so what are we to do? The article cites some of the world's most powerful women and how they're not considered beautiful and how much anger and hatred they suffer from others as a result, as if all they've done for the world is nothing because they are ugly.

Go to any "men's rights" website or subreddit and you'll see the same thing: women criticized in extremely harsh ways if they're not beautiful and sexy, no matter what their accomplishments. Of course, if they are beautiful and sexy, they are still harshly criticized for having the audacity to exist as anything but sex toys. It's not enough for men to just see an ugly woman and say, "Eh, I wouldn't hit that, but whatever." They are flat out ANGRY that ugly women exist.

So, my question is, what are we supposed to do? Kill ourselves? I can accept the idea that I'm not attractive, that no man wants me, that I should just become asexual because I'll never get a guy....but I don't feel like I shouldn't exist.....but apparently men think I shouldn't....and if I choose to exist, I should never leave the house because my sheer presence insults them. Worse, should I have the gall to both exist AND leave the house once in a while, then I should accept that I'm going to be viciously attacked for having the nerve to be alive and to have DNA that made me look how I do. I shouldn't try to make a decent life for myself or at all try to make the world a better place, because afterall, at the end of the day, I am still ugly.

What do these men think the answer is? Seriously? Do they think ugly women should just commit suicide? 

17 comments:

  1. I read that article too... I think some men do want ugly women (I'm one btw) to kill themselves. They want to see how much power they have over others. Degrading a woman's accomplishments, her personality, her charity, etc. by insulting her looks is the easiest thing they can do to tear her down & remind all other women to get in line. Honestly, I wish I could go ahead & kill myself. I'm tired of hearing about how all I need to do is change my attitude, when I've tried being positive, being kind, being involved in other people's lives & activities, but I'm still treated poorly.

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    1. It goes both ways, really it does. Their is also a higher chance of a man acomplishing suicide then women. My point is that ugly men, including me are also having a tough time dealing with the criticism just like women are right now. I am and I know damn well a lot of men are having this issue aswell. Its not right, its really wrong. I wish we can just stop all of this....

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  2. I am a man, and I think you should be the wonderful person you are. I am not an unattractive man but I often feel like I should not be alive because I am not perfect. My heart goes out to you because I know how so many men are just plain dolts. It is they who should stop and see what is inside themselves and how they hurt others in such terrible ways that they should feel what they have done. Personally I believe they will feel just what they have made you feel once they die. So many people believe that all they need to do to be accepted into heaven is pray to whatever God they profess and it will all be good for them but having read many near death accounts, they will be very shocked to find they will have to endure all the pain they caused others. I don't know if there is an after life but according to what the NDEers have said, this is what ha[pens to all of us upon our deaths. If is simply a trick of the mind it matters not as we all live in our minds anyway so real or not, those who hurt you and made you feel like you did not matter, will suffer all they put you through. I'm very sorry men did that to you. I'm sorry I cannot do more to show you that you are extremely important and you should be loved by all people. Perhaps you can learn to love even those who are not worthy so you will prove you are more worthy of life than those who only see the outside. I wish I could do more for you but know this, if I were to ever meet you, I would never look at the outside and judge you but I would try my best to show you how much you mean to the world weather they know it or not. Sorry if I'm not a great writer.

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  3. This society is just corrupt. Men and women are getting too handsome and pretty. It makes the less attractive people seem down right ugly compared to the really attractive people. We think way too much about it because everyone gets judged instantly right when their seen. Its what the todays world is and im worried what will happen further along the road. I bet you depression will soar so high people will commit suicide right at the moment they get called ugly. Im not sure but it seems like we are headed to that.

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  4. hey, if you are that ugly, you can get fucked by a drunk man or raped or whatever (i am not kidding) and then get pregnant, have a kid, and be a mother. and put all your energy and lose yourself in this kid to make him a better version of yourself. it's really simple ! women's greatest gift in life is nurturing and being mothers. But if you cant give birth then now you have a reason to kill yourself

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    1. You honestly need some help. I can't believe you would say something like that. You need to see a therapist. I am going to wish you luck on your journey to bettering yourself because your going to need all the luck you can get.

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    2. This is not good. There are women who are not attractive and lonly as a result. Growing up, all my friends were pretty and in high school some would say look you are all pretty and then there is Cheryl. Do not ruin this. This is the first blog that gets it. I am not suicidal but i was. Tskes a while to accept your different and therefor will not have the same life others have..people call it drama and pitty but it is so true

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  5. With the Elliot Rodgers thing, I looked too far and too deep into the internet to see what people were saying, especially with the PUAHate. I can't escape it now, and I don't want to leave the house, I'm exhausted from just existing. I think I am so far brainwashed that I believe that I am the problem with the world for being fat. I need to kill myself to make this place better so other more worthy women can live. I already started writing my suicide note.

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  6. Being ugly sucks. Men don't want you around, they ones that show interest are only interested in using you as a placeholder while they look for attractive options. The worst part is, you yourself know you are ugly. Human beings are visual beings, you can't help not dislike an ugly face. Women laugh at you. Men laugh at you. I started hiding but I can't hide forever. I would have killed myself but I just can't bring myself to do it. People tell you life is meaningful for us all. They're lying. There's nothing meaningful about an unhappy life. I hate my face. I wish I could die but my brain produces enough serotonin for me to stay put in my miserable existence.

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  7. From the Cracked Article
    What I notice from these 5 statements from the Cracked Article is how incredibly self centred they are.
    This comes under the term of Narcissism. This is what many males (not all) but many males are. Narcissistic.
    These people are coming from an area of privileged entitlement.
    Utah Philips spoke about the weapons of privileged.
    '...I was born as a white male in a mid twenty Century industrial nation (United States). I was armed with an arsenal of weapons. The weapons of privilege.
    Sexual privilege
    Racial privilege
    Economic privilege
    If I have to be less entitled then I need to give up the weapons of privilege...'

    I suppose what is perpetuated against many ugly women...or women in general is the weapons of privilege.
    Another way that these comments could be looked at.

    '...#5. We Were Told That Society Owed Us a Hot Girl...'
    This is despite how the 'HOT GIRL' feels about this arrangement, her own life journey or self determination. You see 'HOT GIRL' isn't actually seen as a person, human etc with her own wants needs or desires. She is... a thing.

    #4. We're Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration
    Despite ample evidence to the contrary and that women actually live and breath and are not just objects.
    This is known as OBJECTIFICATION.
    This is what I have written about objectification elsewhere.
    Objectification – is used as a short cut to characterise a person or a group of people negatively on the bases of a collective physical constant. Eg. All Black people are… all Jews are…. All disabled people are… All women are… This views the person as an object with no human qualities of their own. When these myths are perpetrated through society then these people are seen as inconsequential. It is much easier to abuse something that is perceived as inconsequential rather acknowledging another’s humanity. It is all about power and control.

    #3. We Think You're Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us (what he is really being said here)
    Because everything is about us (men) and it is not like you (women) could actually live your own life without us being the centre of attention! We cannot envisage a reality where you (women) may not actually care about how we (men) feel about you.
    We also have no ability to self regulate. We put all of our inability to keep our own emotions under control onto you. In the same way that we need our bottoms wiped by someone else when we go to the toilet. Yep! we haven't been able to manage that one either.

    #2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point
    YEP! patriarchy can have that effect on many people can't it.

    #1. We Feel Powerless
    Gain some weight, stick a dress on and go about your daily business. Do this for a month and see exactly how powerless you can feel.

    On that note this is a link to an article by Annika Penelope about her transitioning from male to female and the toxicity of beauty culture. Great Article.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/annika-penelope/10-things-i-wish-id-known-when-i-started-my-transition_b_2698504.html

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  8. '...what do men think ugly women should do with our lives? End them?...'
    What they want ugly women to do is any action that will validate them (ie the males in the article). So if killing yourself is going to make his life happier then yes he would want you to do that. However if you being alive helps him to appreciate his life more, ie I am glad I am not her. then he will want you to live. It all comes down to him and that he feels that everyone around him is there purely for his needs. Narcissism.

    The danger is when you begin to see yourself through his eyes rather than seeing his actions and behaviours. Treating you inferior because of your appearance is sexual harassment. This is design devalue you, make you less confident and stop you from living your life. It is really happening. When he claims it is due to your appearance that you deserve to be treated badly what he is doing is shifting the focus away from HIS ACTIONS (that he has control over) and onto something else. It is a trick, He is doing this to get away with bad behaviour.

    You are not placed on this planet to validate someone else existence! You are on this planet to live your life.

    How to deal with fools like him? It is not easy but here are some suggestions.
    Personal Boundaries. Set them up.
    Books and articles on Co-dependency (that is people who live with and try and please narcissists) talk about boundary setting.
    Also look at articles dealing with people breaking away from cults. See if you can find articles about former cult people gaining their own power and value away from the gaze of the narcissitic cult leader once they have escaped.
    Crazymaking/gaslighting. There is a book called 'the artists way' this has a chapter about crazymaking. Where someone continually lies and changes their story in order for you to not trust your own perceptions of reality.
    Manipulation. There are some good books on manipulation and how people manipulate. Don't read them so you can manipulate but read them so you know when you are being manipulated. There is a book 'the power of persuasion' about tactics used for selling goods to people. really good at showing how manipulative people gain others trust.
    Know what you like and do not like. Do not get swayed into liking something that you find personally offensive.
    Standards: have them. When you increase your expectations of yourself and your standards others will proceed to pull you down. This doesn't mean to say that you have to have the latest of everything, eg. stunning makeup, cloths or live in a penthouse.
    Just in a clean environment with well maintained objects (even this can be threatening to a narcissitic person).
    How you feel should be respected. Also respect others and their boundaries. This may not decrease aggression and in fact it may increase aggression towards you. This increased aggression is because you fulfil a role in the mind of the narcissistic person. When you conduct yourself with grace and dignity you are going against what the other person expects of you.
    Leave the situation as best you can if someone is being rude or aggressive. You are not placed on this planet to endure bad behaviour.
    On that note you may want to look into a martial arts, self defence course. Not so you can kick the butt out of someone but so you can maintain composure under pressure.
    Apologies: this started off ranty then got preachy. Much of this information is stuff that I wish someone had of told me as a young person. Hopefully it helps.

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    1. 'Personal Boundaries. Set them up.' Having said this I have checked out websites that talk about personal boundaries and there are a few that have been hijacked by the 'Power of positive thinking, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, victim blaming' brigade. So be warned.
      There is a list about personal boundary setting that is really helpful. So this is what I am basically talking about. If you can find this list it is even on a victim blaming brigade website.
      A website that is pretty good is out of the fog.
      http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Boundaries.html
      http://www.bullyonline.org/index.htm Not entirely about boundaries but has good resources.
      https://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/
      Came across this blog. About how society conditions women to be compliant then when they are sexually violated are surprised when women do not fight back.

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  9. It is so strange... I just typed in Google ...yes l'm bored & depressed... As an ugly woman should I kill myself? I really did not expect quite so many search results...l'm not really sure what I expected.
    It just shows - besides how shallow & lost I am - what an ugly hateful place this world is. I'm not even upset, really, it just adds to the deepening absence of hope or sense that any effort is worth while. I certainly am not killing myself only because I am ugly, but clearly there are many that think that alone would be enough to justify extinguishing my presence. There are many people (male, female, or other) that are not particularly attractive from one perspective or another & perhaps are undeniably unattractive; truly I don't believe someone is undeniably or irrevocably unattractive & ugly unless it is qualities from the inside that are so selfish, cruel, evil, etc that make them so. These common feelings & categorisations of women are ugly, irrevocably so.
    Regardless, I am ugly, this world is ugly, I will die - deservingly. I wish that this world gets more beautiful - it is hate & cruelty that make it truly ugly.

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  10. It is so strange... I just typed in Google ...yes l'm bored & depressed... As an ugly woman should I kill myself? I really did not expect quite so many search results...l'm not really sure what I expected.
    It just shows - besides how shallow & lost I am - what an ugly hateful place this world is. I'm not even upset, really, it just adds to the deepening absence of hope or sense that any effort is worth while. I certainly am not killing myself only because I am ugly, but clearly there are many that think that alone would be enough to justify extinguishing my presence. There are many people (male, female, or other) that are not particularly attractive from one perspective or another & perhaps are undeniably unattractive; truly I don't believe someone is undeniably or irrevocably unattractive & ugly unless it is qualities from the inside that are so selfish, cruel, evil, etc that make them so. These common feelings & categorisations of women are ugly, irrevocably so.
    Regardless, I am ugly, this world is ugly, I will die - deservingly. I wish that this world gets more beautiful - it is hate & cruelty that make it truly ugly.

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